twolunarspring

Yesterday, some friends and I made paper butterflies for the Mariposa campaign.

(the following is quoted from the Amnesty International USA website)

When the women left their homes that May morning in 2006, they never imagined the horrific experience that lay ahead of them. During a police operation in response to protests by activists from a local peasant organization in San Salvador Atenco, Mexico, over 45 women were arrested without explanation.

Dozens of them were subjected to physical, psychological and sexual violence by the police officers who arrested them. More than two years later, they are still waiting for justice. None of the officials responsible for their abuse have been adequately held accountable.

Bárbara Italia Méndez is one of at least 26 women who reported being physically and sexually abused by Mexican police that day in May, 2006. At the time, she was a 27-year-old student and volunteer working for street children, and she had gone to the protest to show support for the community after violence between the police and protestors resulted in the death of a child. Police officers broke into the house where she was seeking refuge and arrested her without explanation. The officers pulled her hair, beat her, and forced her into a state police vehicle with her shirt pulled over her head. She was made to lie on top of other detainees, and during the journey to the prison, police officers raped her repeatedly.

Once at the "Santiaguito" prison near Toluca in Mexico State, the prison doctors who gave Bárbara Italia a check-up failed to document all her physical injuries or to gather evidence of the sexual abuse she had suffered. She was held in prison for 12 days before being released on bail. Like many others, she is still facing criminal charges.

More than two years later, Ms. Méndez and the other survivors still wait for justice.

...I seem to be back.

I was mysteriously blocked from MSN spaces for ages and ages but there appears to have been a reprieve of sorts: huzzah!

So. I did another one of these a few weeks ago, and it seems as good a fresh start as any...

Toodle pips ♥

-------------------------------------------------------------

1. I think I am a lot less clean than most people seem to be. I don’t think I am particularly dirty, but I always wear the same clothes several times before washing them, and it doesn’t bother me at all if my hair is oily.
2. One day, I will carve a totem pole.
3. I find it odd when people take their kids to baby clinic when there’s nothing wrong, and I think it gradually erodes their confidence in their own instincts.
4. I never have any trouble filling these things in, and am surprised other people seem to.
5. When people speak to me unexpectedly while I am out, I tend to feel quite dazed for the first five minutes of the conversation because I was in a world of my own and have suddenly found myself somewhere different and how did that happen?
6. I miss Jacaranda in Southampton, though it’s been closed for years.
7. I am growing purple carrots.
8. I think somewhere in my medical notes it must say that I’m a pain in the arse,. Because almost every medical person I encounter treats me quite badly and doesn’t listen to anything I say.
9. It’s going to be really hard for me to trust the medical profession/NHS system again after my birth experience, and I’m undecided whether that’s going to be helpful to me or not.
10. It feels really unsettling that I once had a step brother and step sister I shared most of my childhood with, who totally disappeared from my life.
11. I think I am usually more interested in hearing about other people than they are in hearing about me.
12. I think my house is tidy, but no one else agrees!
13. I really hate it when people bitch about others… not just because it’s horrible for the person being talked about, but because it makes me wonder what people say about *me* when I am not there, which I’d rather not.
14. Unkempt lawns make joy bubble up in my heart.
15. I love being a mother every bit as much as I knew I would, which seems to annoy a lot of people.
16. I think I will be getting my new tattoo soon, I feel it calling me.
17. I very rarely eat a proper breakfast and have no good reason for it.
18. I am amazed by people who have a “thing”… like they always wear pink or they are really obsessed with cats, and I wonder how it’s possible, and whether after a while they choose to wear pink *because* it’s their thing and they feel they need that identity to stop themselves fading away.
19. …I think about stuff a lot. All the time, in fact.
20. There’s an Armando Ianucci sketch where people are being secretly fed information about football, and one day the lines get cut and no one knows what to say anymore. I often feel like the rest of the world has a secret source of ‘chat’ information I have missed out somewhere along the line because I just can’t seem to join in.
21. But then, I don’t really want to, either.
22. I really enjoy punctuation… using and abusing it.
23. Right now, I feel the most physically healthy I have been since I was very small.
24. Blu-tack pleases me.
25. Since being pregnant and having Izzy, I have gone from having a brilliant memory to an appalling one. Apparently my husband and I had three conversations yesterday about the fact that my mum was coming over, but when he said ‘don’t forget about your mum tomorrow’ it was total news to me. Or maybe he’s just messing with my head?
26. I don’t find drug use romantic.
27.  I don’t know how people do that thing where they meet someone at an event or group and then become properly friends with them. I have only managed it once and I think it was mostly down to the efforts of the other person!
28. I love going on aimless wanders.
29. I don’t particularly enjoy being busy... I like having lots of things to do, but I find the feeling of rushing from one task to another deeply unpleasant.
30. I really dislike being called Sam, but most people seem to do so and then I feel awkward about mentioning it.
31. I get terrible brain fog sometimes, and it can make me feel very isolated.
32. I love the soft space between Isobel’s eyes and nose so very much.
33. Having a collection of different yarns makes me feel full of possibilities.
34. I think this “100” things might be wordier than the last one.
35. I very much enjoy sounding the word “wordier”. Wordier!
36. In my experience, most of the people who describe themselves as being ‘down to earth’ or ‘calls a spade a spade’ are basically quite nasty to people and feel this not only gives them permission but makes it a special ‘earthy’ quality too.
37. I think most things lose some of their wonder when they are polished.
38. When Isobel pokes her tongue out, she reminds me of Jenna.
39. I am always confused by the question “so, what do you do?”
40. I think most people fundamentally misunderstand the point of feminism.
41. I might start phoning people for chats, because it’s bothering me how nervous the idea makes me.
42. I think there are always exceptions.
43. I repeat myself often.
44. I don’t get bored.
45. I feel really awkward when people strike up ‘conversations’ with Izzy while we’re out. Because on the one hand, they’re not really talking to *me* so I shouldn’t really get involved, but on the other hand… where do I look? What do I do? I can’t really stand there staring straight ahead with someone cooing a couple of inches from my face.
46. I am not the sort of person who can eat just a couple of squares from a chocolate bar.
47. I often feel huge surges of love for people, sometimes when I meet them for the first time.
48. Elitism bothers me.
49. Unkempt lawns make joy bubble up in my heart.
50. I find it a bit odd when people get really obsessive about ‘cult’ childrens’ shows but a lot of people seem to do it.
51. I am trying really hard to form a relationship with my father, but it feels a bit like most of my childhood has to be revised in order for that to work, and it’s exhausting.
52. I love my friends very much.
53. I often go into a meditative state while walking, and I feel really blessed because of that.
54. On the rare occasion that I trim my hair, I give the remnants to my ratties for bedding.
55. I often listen to the same CD on repeat for a whole day… as long as there are more than five songs, I enjoy the repetition and feel I get to know the individual songs and their relationships with each other really well.
56. I find it difficult to suggest meeting up with someone, even a really close friend, because I tend to think if they wanted to see me, they would ask… though logically that doesn’t really make sense as they might be thinking the same thing.
57. Whenever I hear the sound of keys jangling, it reminds me of my mum.
58. I often read through my school leavers’ book, and treasure it, even though most of what’s in it is probably generic and hardly-meant.
59. I wish my grandparents hadn’t moved house.
60. With hindsight, I can see that I had many incidences of psychosis as a child and expect that’s more common than people realise.
61. I find my own smell comforting and snug.
62. I often crave the smell of woodsmoke and the warmth of firelight on my face.
63. I often refer to the realm of shops and money and concrete and noisy business as ‘the grey world’ and was pleased when I first read ‘The Lake Isle of Innisfree’ because I feel that Yeats meant the same thing by ‘the pavements gray’. So I listen for lake waters lapping.
64. When I dance - really dance - I feel completely free.
65. I think I have been banned from msn spaces for having drawings on there containing nudity.
66. I love breastfeeding, and find it strange and sad when people talk to me about it as though it’s a martyrdom of some sort that I am submitting to.
67. I find a lot of societal things strange. I think that’s healthy.
68. I believe that art is for everyone.
69. I make an effort to call people by the name they have chosen for themselves, and don't shorten it unless invited, or if I am sure they will appreciate the affection intended.
70. I would like to sleep on a mattress on the floor.
71. I really miss the bedroom in my old house.
72. I can’t stand wearing underwear and avoid doing so as much as possible.
73. Mr Oludije was wrong about God’s plan for our genitals – you definitely do get scar tissue down there.
74. I would very much like to try creating ceramic objects someday soon, and would like someone to teach me.
75. I am looking forward to when we own our own home, so we can grow vegetables in the garden, and have chickens and bees.
76. I have recently started absently chewing on my fingers, which is a habit I think I have picked up from Isobel ~ I can see the appeal, it is most satisfying.
77. I think there are very few things which are wholly ‘bad’.
78. I never know what to do when someone points a camera at me.
79. I am looking forward to when Isobel begins to express herself through art.
80. The older I get, the better I am at accepting the transient nature of things.
81. I have recently discovered that I really like biting peoples’ dreadlocks. I am looking forward to when my baby snakey dread is long enough to nibble on.
82. My vagina is officially healed, eight months after giving birth.
83. Recently, I have been thinking a lot about having a horse companion. I wonder if one day we will have a little bit of land somewhere for a horse to live on. That would be wonderful.
84. I think mushrooms and cream should never, ever be occupying the same space. The idea of creamy mushroom anything makes me want to throw up.
85. I feel uncomfortable in cars, buses and coaches, but trains feel OK.
86. I wish postage stamps were still lick-and-stick.
87. I am still not convinced I actually have or have ever had chronic fatigue syndrome, or ME, or whatever (I don’t think many doctors know the difference anyway) and would not be at all surprised if one day ‘they’ find that I have some perfectly mundane, treatable something.
88. I try not to think about it, and hopefully will never have a relapse again so I won’t need to. I can live with taking life more slowly that everyone else.
89. Contrary to what many people insisted while I was pregnant, I have never once wished I had a pushchair/pram and think it’s unlikely that I will in the future.
90. I really wish I liked cheesecake.
91. I don’t like the feeling that if you disagree with someone, they will lose respect for you.
92. I like to sit in cafes with a cup of tea, just experiencing the moment and catching glimpses of all the stories around me.
93. I miss the Guildhall open mic nights.
94. I like talking about my vagina and my womb and my periods.
95. One of my favourite treats is to eat a cupful of frozen peas – so much better than ice lollies and presumably pretty good for you too.
96. One of the happiest moments of my life was sitting in the back of my mum’s car in a supermarket car park with my beautiful new baby girl and a goats’ cheese sandwich.
97. Elephants are special to me.
98. Feminism is not a dirty word.
99. I miss writing prose, and look forward to a time when I have the energy and clarity of mind to create more.
100. The best ice cream I ever had was in Italy: one scoop hazelnut, one scoop banana. Heavenly.

-------------------------------------------------------------